Welcome to the Curated Confidence, the space where beauty meets truth and confidence isn't just talked about, it's built. And no, not with a filter. I'm English Black, PA, med spa owner, aesthetic coach, and a woman who has walked through fire to stand in her power. If you're here, chances are you're not just chasing a glow up. You're craving a life that feels unapologetically your own. This podcast is about what it really takes to own your story, embody your worth, and express your beauty from the inside out. Not for perfection, not for applause, but because you're done abandoning yourself for everyone else. Each week, I'll bring you real talk, mindset shifts, and the kind of unapologetic truths that help you curate confidence, not just in the mirror, but in how you move through the world. You ready? Let's get into it. Today's guest is someone whose work lives right at the intersection of psychology, performance, and leadership presence. Krista Donargo is a graduate of NYU and New York City Graduate School in Psychoanalysis with a background in acting and performance. which she's brilliantly woven into a career coaching some of the most visible leaders in the world. She's worked with Fortune 500 executives on public speaking, confidence, and authentic communication, and now serves as a coach with KLC Consultants, helping female founders and entrepreneurs in the beauty and wellness space step into leadership with clarity, confidence, and connection. What I love about Krista, and I can say this because I have worked with her personally, is her ability to decode what's really happening beneath the surface, the psychology behind how we show up, the stories that shape our voice, and the subtle shifts that can completely transform how we're perceived. In this conversation, we dive into the truth about confidence, how presence is built, and what it really takes to lead with both authority and authenticity. Welcome, Thank you, English. I am so honored and very excited to be here with you. I think these conversations are the ones that we need to be having in this space because we are so visible and because we make such impact in the world. It's important that we really do this work for ourselves. We give that back to ourselves to really A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It's not talked about enough. I mean, being a woman is just so complicated in and of itself. And then being a woman as a business owner, as a public speaker, as an entrepreneur, it's Exactly. I mean, we didn't even go into like motherhood or, you know, puppy motherhood or any of those things. But what I love about you is your authenticity and empathy and warmth that you bring to a kind of masculine topic, you know, if you will. And so it's pretty bad-a, you know? And yeah, you're welcome. So you've coached leaders at the highest levels. Tell us about what patterns you see and how confidence is built or eroded in Yeah, and I think that's such a great question. And to your point, I think this space can be very masculine. But overall, I've seen a trend, whether it be working with females or males, confidence grows when leaders show up consistently and they follow through on their commitments. And I think also they take action even when it's uncomfortable. And one thing that's also going to contribute to that type of confidence is preparation. So the more prepared you are, the more grounded and calm you feel under pressure is really going to contribute to that confidence. And I think the biggest confidence killer, if you will, is when leaders actually avoid those uncomfortable situations. They avoid the hard conversations. I don't know anything about this. This is a learning curve for everyone. Or maybe they overthink decisions, or maybe they rely too much on validation. So these are all things that will contribute to the erosion of confidence. And I think the In high-pressure situations, the ones who really thrive are the leaders who can pause, they can breathe, and they can act from a place of clarity rather than stress Yeah, boy, there's so much to unpack there. The first thing I thought of was the preparedness. Can you talk more Yeah, so it really depends on what your process is, and everyone has their own process. But I do believe, especially if you're nervous, the best thing you can do to calm yourself down is to put in that work beforehand to just make sure you you know what you're talking about or you feel clear on what's going to be happening within that conversation. Of course, it depends. Either you're going on stage or maybe you're having a really scary conversation one-on-one with someone. So really thinking about preparation to me is identifying the objective. Like, what do I want to get out of this conversation? Like, who do I want this outcome to be? And really thinking about, how am I going to adjust myself to get people to feel something? Because at the end of the day, we have to couple an idea with an emotion. And that goes with any type of communication, whether we're on social media, whether we're on stage, or whether we're trying to get our point across Yeah, excellent point, excellent point. I know, I love that you want to have, you know, what do you want to get out of the conversation? I think everybody forgets that point. It's a very, very important point that especially if it's a tricky conversation to be clear on, yeah, what it is you need to accomplish, want to accomplish, and also to be able to look inside and say, you know, how do I need to pivot to show up? And that's very tricky as well. I mean, and What work do you recommend around Yeah, for gaining clarity on like maybe whatever it is Yeah, so there's, well... That's a bit of a loaded question because I can't tell you what you want. You have to, that's the reflective part of the conversation with yourself. So I would definitely recommend if there is a conversation you're going into that feels stressful or there is something that you are presenting on that you feel nervous about, getting that clarity through just maybe stream of consciousness writing, journaling. That's one way for you to be like, you know, What do I really want to deliver as my message? What is the gift I want to give here? And I think identifying also your call to action. So it depends on what we're talking about. If we're talking about giving a talk on stage, definitely have a call to action. But if you're talking about really just preparing for a conversation that you're avoiding or that's really charged with emotions, doing some of that download work beforehand so we're going in a little bit more level-headed with that objective, I Yeah. I appreciate so much the encouragement of journaling. I think it took me a solid year of being in the KLC before I actually embraced it. And it's such a freaking game-changer. I mean, it's transformative. Yeah, it's tough. I still struggle with my own practice, but I notice the leaps and bounds of change I create when I actually put pen to paper and the Yeah, yeah. Well, we got a little sidetracked, but you were saying so many awesome little nuggets for the listeners that I was like, oh, let's talk some more. So, I mean, a lot of people think that confidence means never doubting yourself. How do you define true confidence and what myths would you like I love this question because if that were true English, I'm rarely confident. Like, let's be real. True confidence is not about never doubting yourself. True confidence is actually the opposite. It's about doubting yourself and then taking action even when you feel uncertain or afraid. And I think a big myth that I would want to debunk is that a confident person knows everything about everything and is just like perfect and, you know, is the know-it-all or is the smartest or most academic person, when in reality, I think confidence is facing tough questions and conversations with curiosity and transparency. And sometimes that transparency looks like I don't know. I don't know the answer to that question, but you know what? That's a great question, and I'm actually going to find out. I think confidence can often show up as quiet, calm, grounded. That's another myth that I think it's important to debunk, that confidence has to be loud or flashy. I don't think it has to be that. It can really Yeah, for sure. I know, and it's interesting because talking about it doesn't always have to be loud. I would say that the most confident people I know, I mean, they can be loud in their own way, but they don't have to be loud about their confidence because they just already, it's just a knowing, you know? It's a knowing. I love that. Yeah, yeah. Well, what role does mindset play in how we show up, whether it's in the boardroom, on stage, in meetings, or in our daily lives? Oh, mindset is everything. So mindset is basically, it's the lens through which we see the world and it's how we interpret any moment in our lives. So if our lens is tainted or negative, and that's really what we're allowing into our daily thoughts, then it's going to influence the next step we take. It might even dictate the next action move that we take. And that's why I like to talk a lot about mental hygiene. I think it's about being intentional about the thoughts that we allow to run amok in our brains. And I think it's really funny in our industry because, maybe not everyone, but a lot of us are very careful about the things we put in our bodies, you know, whether it be nutrition or, you know, health or supplements. But why aren't we just as careful about what we allow our minds to think? So I think if you notice that your mindset tends to lean towards negative and it creates thoughts that don't feel good, then that's really your cue to do the work. And I think consciously, and it can be hard, but digging deep to find better feeling thoughts is going to help to train your brain not to default to the negative. And that's evolution right there. Our brains are wired to default to negative to be protective because survival is a number one for our brains. So it does not care for us to feel good in a situation. It just wants us So I really think it's important that we are more deliberate and intentional about the thoughts we allow ourselves to think or not think, because those synapses get Wire together, fire together. Yeah, and it's true. It is. It's absolutely true. And I do think the leaders that do this type of work, they are able to show up, by default, a little bit calmer, a little bit clearer, and more confident in Yeah, I love that. And so if you heard me say neurons that fire together, wire together, if you've never heard that before, it's really an expression that means, you know, when you have maybe ruminating is a good way to describe it. But if you have the same types of thought patterns, ie have negative self talk, or maybe you're very hard or critical on yourself, the more habitual, the more you have those thoughts, the more habitual it becomes. And I would say from experience that you really have to develop some self-awareness of going inside, actually even be aware that that is happening. Because otherwise, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It has so much to do because it's like, you know, our Absolutely. And I do think that negative thoughts as well as positive thoughts gain momentum as we continue to allow them in our heads. And like I said before, it will take us to our next thought. So when you say the neurons that fire together wire together, it's literally saying you attract what you put out there. So if you are thinking those negative thoughts, another negative thought's going to come to you. It's true. Because we're wiring these neurons together. We're wiring together. We're firing together and we're wiring together. And then it's going to take you to the next one. And then it's going to take you to the next one. And you have to consciously, if you are someone, and again, like a lot of us do this, when we call it spiraling, when we spiral, the reason it's called that is because it's gaining momentum as we go deeper and deeper and deeper. So the work is really consciously, and I think it has to be intentional, and there's discipline involved there, and saying, nope, I'm cutting this off right here. I'm not giving this power anymore. So I It's tough work. It is hard. Yeah, yeah, and it takes actually dedicated time to undo. I love, and I read a quote recently about how it's not something about just unlearning who we've become. It's not about becoming, it's more about unlearning. I Yeah. And I also think that to that point, unlearning is sometimes we have to stop telling our sad stories. Sometimes we have to say, that's not going to define me anymore. That's right. I lived through it. I'm grateful that I survived it, but that's no longer serving me. So I respectfully let it Yeah, and rationally, you know, it's not serving you anymore. But that habitual or it's familiar, or that very human negative bias. It's, yeah, I Yeah. So and it was Carl Jung. And it was it was unbecoming who they told you to be not who you are. Yep. Yeah. So you've worked with Fortune 500 leaders on public speaking. What separates an unforgettable speaker on someone who's just good? Okay. So I think, first of all, I think unforgettable speakers connect emotionally with their audience. Okay. So let's say public speaking or like having an audience in front of you. Yeah. I think before they actually even ever get to the information that they want to deliver, they first emotionally connect or they use an emotional hook. And what that does is it grabs your audience in the right way. So that can look like, telling a personal story. It can be the use of provocative statistics or information that really gets us feeling something. And when they have that emotional pull, then I think the delivery of the information feels different to us because now we're engaged emotionally. And of course, the emotional hook has to be somewhat related to that information, but it's really not just about perfect slides or perfect words even. And I think the most unforgettable speakers are most importantly their authentic self. And they're very driven by their why, more so than what they're gonna get from their audience or the actual speech itself. So I think to me, that's what makes, and I think it can be pretty simple. I don't even think it's like rocket science here. I think those are the most unforgettable speakers, the people that move us. They move us. There's a Maya Angelou quote that I love And it's something like, people will forget what you said, they'll forget what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. And that one sticks with me. It gives me goosebumps because I'm like, it's so true if we think about our lives, if we think about the speeches we've heard. or the presentations that we're given or anything, the stories we've been told, the things that make us feel something emotionally, those are the things that are unforgettable. Those are the things that we carry For sure. A hundred percent. You know, I love not to go down some weird road, but thinking about like, you know, at the end of our life, it's like, none of us are going to be looking back wishing thinking about working or the practical things that we do on a day-to-day basis that we somehow find the time for. It's always about the people, the relationships, the connections, and Absolutely, because we are emotional creatures and I would say Strategically, the most influential people in the world, they will marry an emotion with an idea. Because if you can somehow cultivate that emotional power and then bring in an idea behind it and then a call to action. Yeah. You've got people lined up ready to do your bidding, ready to sign me up, whatever it is. So I really think that's what's interesting about the emotional part of it is that, of course, it could be used for good. It could be used for bad as well. If you look at the most influential people in the world, the most influential speakers in the world, whether you like them or not or agree with them or not, they really get us feeling and then they give us a call to action, something I love that. I love that you marry an emotion with an idea. So well said. You're so articulate. I mean, come on. Don't flatter me. Just a natural. I'm passionate about this stuff because I've obviously studied it, but I've seen it to be true. And I'm like, so what's the magic bullet here? So it's really pushed me to uncover and unlock the different strategies that we can utilize because it's not innate. I don't think being a confident speaker or a world-class presenter is innate in us. I don't think that's a natural skill. So you have to really figure out what it is. What are those essential puzzle pieces that really make someone a Yeah, yeah, it's so good. Well, how do you help leaders communicate in a way that inspires trust and connection and not just authority? I know you're gonna say the authenticity and the emotion piece. Yeah, so what, yes, but I do think trust and connection is an important distinction here, because of course you want to show up authentically, and that does build trust. But I think what people miss about communication is that it's not just about delivering information, the trust and connection is making people feel seen and safe in seeing them. And I think trust comes from being consistent. I think trust comes from being clear. And very basically, I think trust comes from genuinely caring about people. So leaders who are curious, leaders who listen, and leaders who ask the right questions, that's what's gonna help them build connection and credibility. So I always encourage people who are gonna be on stage or who are gonna be speaking to an audience or give a presentation, even do a training or something, ask yourself, what does my audience need to feel so that they can take action? And then you can kind of let that guide Oh my gosh, it's so awesome, so awesome. I mean, I'm back Yeah, because here's the thing, we put so much pressure on ourselves to deliver and to be this grand thing on stage, but what if we viewed ourselves more as a facilitator or someone who curiously is interested in creating impactful conversations. And what if we took some of the pressure off ourselves and engaged and asked questions? I think some of the best speakers talk to their audience and they engage with them and they ask them questions and they create conversation. That really It's so true. It's so true. And I love you mentioning about the why. Because, you know, when you have the bigger why, all of a sudden, all of the fear of rejection or failure, mistakes, all of that starts to melt away because you don't care because you're on a bigger mission. And then all of it goes away. So, you know, when I was younger, I didn't think that was important. Well, that's a whole another tangled ball of yarn. But I think having a why, thinking about what it is you would really love to have out of life helps drive all of that and the authenticity. Because when you said, well, I'm passionate about it, I'm like, I can tell. It comes through in how you articulate yourself and your words. And then there's no pressure to be off the cuff because it's a natural conversation that you'd be having with anybody, right? You Yeah, and that might be the magic bullet, actually, is connecting to your why. Or Simon Sinek, who's a really incredible inspirational leader and author, he talks about the giver's heart. And that's something that I've adapted into my coaching with people when it comes to how do you get rid of those nerves? How do you be a powerful leader on stage and communicator? what you just said, you connect to your bigger mission and your message, and that's your gift that you are giving, and you are simply the vessel for that. And I always like to use the analogy of, think about religious leaders who get on stage, they're preachers, or they're standing in a temple or a mosque or a church, whatever it is, they're not nervous. And it's because they have a bigger message to deliver that's bigger than them. So I always tell people, remember it's your message and make sure you're connected to your why, because that's going It is, it is. Well, can you share a story of somebody that you've worked with who's transformed the way they were perceived by Yes, well, I would say there is a leader, maybe one of my former clients, who I've seen go through incredible transformations, just starting from a place of more of that uncertainty and maybe having a little bit of that imposter syndrome. And just really coming into a powerful leader who truly embraces herself, her scars, her failures, her small wins, all of those things. And that person I'm talking about, English, is you. I'm beyond proud of you, of how far that you've come. And it's not just not just in your leadership, but how you're willing to share yourself and show up authentically and share your stories. And in a way that is transparent and confident and in your communication of thoughts, even with your social media and this podcast. So I'm truly inspired by the parts of yourself that you're willing to share with the world. So I would say that is an incredible transformation that I got to witness and be a part of. So that is, for I love that. You started talking and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna cry. It really has been a pleasure, I mean, to have the support and the community that you're a part of and that we were a part of together in KLC. And yeah, to be able to have a safe place of no judgment. And you really do need that space to practice. to be able to practice with people. So then you can go do it with other people, you know? But just like you're talking about the why, this whole podcast, it's like, well, I've spent my whole life working on my own confidence and imposter syndrome and, you know, out of survival skills. And all of a sudden, it's like, well, we can take all of this and all of the amazing women I met along the way and people and help share what everybody's learned. And then we Absolutely. Community and practice, right? Yeah, community and practice. Yeah, I know. I'm like, whew, I gotta take a deep breath now. Well, your background in psychology gives you a unique lens. I mean, so leading out of that, what's one psychological principle that if more people understood it, it would completely change the way they show Yeah, so that's a great question. There's many, many things, but I'd say a very simple one is mirror neurons, which is exactly what we're talking about. And it's this idea that we basically reflect the emotional state of the people around us. So if you are showing up really stressed out and negative and terrified or whatever, your team or your audience or whoever you're talking to is going to feel that and mirror it back to you. So if you do show up as calm and confident, they will also mirror that. So I think it's just a reminder that how we show up internally also will affect how we show up externally and then what we also get back. So I think that, you know, the neurons that fire together, wire together, it's such a broad concept. And I think it applies to strengthening the negative stories in our lives or the positive stories in our lives or those neural pathways. But it's also a reminder that we are going to receive exactly what we're putting out there. And again, that's what we're setting ourselves out for. I think it's a reminder to check yourself and just be like, how am I feeling? How am I showing up? Am I showing up more? I love to use this example with any couple who's in a fight, who's giving an apology. It's like, how are you really showing up? Are you angry? emotionally, internally showing up, and how is that being expressed? Because most likely, that's going to be what you receive back. So just really keeping an eye on I know, yeah. Unless you've got some serious self-control, and yeah, some people have mastered that better than others. You know, but if we take this conversation on a 180, just like, you'll get back. You also have to be very careful with You know, even no matter how strong you are, if they are not the right people that are going to cheer you on. And I love the Brene Brown analogy of how she talks to her kids about it. Have you Yeah. She's just so she's a Texan. I mean, come on. She's fine. And but she told me a Texan. Yeah, she tells her kids the types of friends they want to have. She's like, if everybody's walking around with a little candle in their hand like this, and we want to imagine we're carrying a candle, and we want our friends to look at that candle and to be like, wow, what an awesome candle. What we don't want are people that come over and our candle blower outers. You know, but the mirror neurons, you know, I mean, again, to your point, the 180 of your point is that you have to check yourself with how you show up when you're communicating, but you also have to check yourself with your environment because you will never be able to get past it So, so true. I love that. I was listening, recently listening to, oh my gosh, Vanessa Van, I think it's Edwards, but she's an incredible speaker and communications, I want to say communication behaviorist coach. I'm not quite sure what her title is, but she's an author and speaker. And she was just saying, this is a little bit different from the point you were making, but I do think it's relevant that the most likable people are the people who like the most people. Oh, yeah, yeah. So really thinking about who, like, how are we showing up and giving? And then that's going to also affect how we receive. But to your point, yes, in our environment, if we are around people who are caught in that negative thought spiral, if they're not taking responsibility for the thoughts they let into their heads, it will, if, you know, if we're not careful, it will also affect us. So Yeah, 100%. So how do you integrate practices like meditation, mindfulness in your coaching, especially You're not alone. So when I work with a KLC client, I know that the challenges that so many of these high achieving women are facing aren't always because of revenue or employees or marketing strategies. But so much of it comes from how they feel about themselves and their ability to achieve their goals and their overall attitude towards their business on a day-to-day basis. So that's why I think mindset coaching is a great place place to start and that's something I like to do immediately and really understanding how they feel about certain issues in their business is often just as important as how that area is actually performing so the emotional aspect of how they feel about that part of business and I think another strategy that we use at KLC is practicing gratitude. And I think it's something that I always like to encourage, something I try to practice myself, really looking at how much you've already achieved and how far you've come allows you to make decisions for your future and for your business from a place of abundance rather than scarcity. And I think another thing that we would encourage is mindfulness practices like breath work. That's something I might recommend to a client. Visualization work, journaling. So it's not always, you know, meditation isn't always everyone's cup of tea. I happen to think it's a real game changer, especially if you do it first thing in the morning. But if that's not your thing, it's like, okay, so maybe do some affirmations in the morning. Maybe you're gonna do some breath work. Take some deep breaths in the morning. Maybe you do some visualizations before you go to bed. And of course, journaling is always an option. But I do think these tiny resets, they'll help calm your nervous system, they'll keep your mind clear, and they'll really help you to show up a little bit more focused and I love that. I love that. And I, I am a huge believer in meditation. I mean, I actually got into it. One of my best friends who just got certified in teaching meditation, my childhood friend, I know she is the one that just, I mean, I think when we were 39, she sent me and so, okay, that was just last year, but just kidding. That was more than 10 years ago. I don't know. You had me going English. You're so good. She sent me some guided meditation. It was like Oprah and Deepak. Remember when they were doing that? Oh, yeah. I'm telling you, those guided meditations got me through some of the hardest years of my life. And I was like, wow, and it really helps rewire your thinking if you can like follow it. So I encourage you if you're not, if you are resistant to meditation, you try a guided meditation because then it's like you're not totally relying on the silence. Although I did take a course with Ziva Meditation. So if you want to learn how to do it without, that was a great resource Yeah, so there's an app that I really like. I think there's like a very older, not an old app, but an app that's been around for a while called Headspace. Yeah. But that's not the one that I use. I use the Balance app because like you said, there's guided meditations, there's short meditations, there's long meditations, you can work your way up towards developing a skill. There are meditations while you shower, meditations while you sip your coffee. It could be a meditation for anxiety. So I just like the diversity that they have on their app. So again, whatever works for you. And I always tell people when it comes to meditation or breath work, kind of like fake it till you make it. Take the action and the emotions will follow. So what I mean by that is just get into the habit first, and then you'll begin to feel good about it. Then you'll begin to receive the benefits. But that beginning, that initial change, we're resistant to developing new behavior. It's carving neural pathways. It's tough to get into a new habit. So just stick with something long enough for those seeds to germinate. And I'd say stick with meditation longer than a month, if I were to give advice. And you'll begin to, if you do it hopefully daily, but if you do it every other day or as much as you can, after a certain amount of time, you're going to feel a lot more comfortable It's so true. It's just like exercise. You're not going to go years of never or your life with never having exercise I know, no way. It takes weeks or months. I mean, depending on where you were, but and it's no different from the brain. I mean, I don't know about you, but I do meditate regularly, usually in the mornings. And, but if I've, you know, like I've been sick recently. And so I didn't for like a week, cause I couldn't even breathe out of my nose. And that was just annoying. I know, but you know, it's like, then you get out of practice and then to get back on the wagon, it's like starting over, but that's the whole point. You just start over, over and Yeah, that's what we're doing in life every day. We're starting it all the time, all the time. Yeah. Well, and I, you know, I did a journal prompt today that was to write, uh, don't stop writing for seven minutes about all the It was so powerful. And we're wrapping up the journaling and the gratitude and the kind That was awesome. I recommend. That's certainly celebrating the wins. That's right, that's right, which most of us are usually very uncomfortable to do unless we've learned how to do, relearned how to do that. So what's a time in your life that you've had Oh, that's a really good question. So, I would say the moment that stands out to me probably most recently, I mean, obviously within the past 10 years, is probably when I arrived in graduate school. So coming from a background at NYU in philosophy and the arts, and then I was suddenly surrounded by these accomplished, much older doctors and surgeons, and they wanted to get licensed in psychoanalysis as And so I wasn't sure that, I mean, I was sure that I was not the smartest person in So what happened was, it was an interesting progression because when I first arrived in grad school, I was definitely a bit quiet and I would watch kind of everyone else navigate the curriculum and ask questions. But then I slowly realized that we're all a little bit clueless, and their accolades don't translate to psychoanalysis. And we were all there to really learn and grow together, just having that group. It almost was like group therapy, studying psychoanalysis, but also living it. So even those super smart doctors, I eventually learned, had imposter syndrome. And I realized that my unique background actually offered a fresh perspective. Because they're all coming from this very clinical – and I'm a little bit more of a free thinker, outside-of-the-box thinker. And I came to find that they truly valued my perspective. I had to realize that I was doing no one a service by editing myself or not speaking up or asking my questions and thinking even that they were silly questions. I wasn't doing a service to anyone. Because it's funny, eventually I found out that those same brilliant doctors, they were too scared or too proud to ask those silly questions that they all wanted answers to. So that's really when I'd say I found my voice. I found my confidence. And yeah, I happen to like to talk. I'm a New Yorker, so I talk a lot. I'm very direct. I'm rather loud, actually. But that was a moment in time where I really, I cowered, and then I had to really open myself up through reflection. I mean, listen, sometimes you're not going to feel confident, and that's just the reality of the situation. Sometimes it's just about the reflection of, hey, that didn't feel great. What can I do differently? How can I do the work so that next time I show up differently? So I happened to be able to do it as the semesters went on, but it took time. It took time for me to open up I know. Learning is the great unifier, right? You realize when everybody's starting out together, it's an equal playing field. And when we're coming up, we really have no idea until we start to get out more and doing the thing with the other people doing the Yeah, and that's something that I like to tell people who are a little bit more apprehensive to speak on stage or when they're invited, they're like, oh, I'm not the most smart. I don't know the most about this subject. And I'm like, please, they're not asking you to speak on stage to be the encyclopedia of that subject. They're asking you to speak on stage because of your unique perspective and the fresh perspective that you might be able to bring to this topic. Maybe you're just more engaging than other people. Nobody needs you to be the quote unquote smartest. And also, how do we even measure intelligence anymore anyways? I'm like, if we're just talking about book smart and no EQ, no emotional intelligence, what are we even talking about? Because we know you need to have both. So again, it's an interesting debate. For sure. And you know that your experience brought to mind this Marianne Williamson quote. Do you know which one I'm going to say? No, I don't. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are more powerful beyond measure. It is only light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. It goes on and on. I've heard that one, but I haven't heard that in a long time. And is she an author? Is she a writer? Yeah, Yeah, she wrote a book called Return to Love. She's got a lot of other books, but that to me is just—I have to read the whole thing sometimes. It goes on to say, we ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? And actually, who are you not to be? You're a child of God. Absolutely, absolutely. And that was a game changer with me as far as communicating with other people, speaking about God, is that, you know, when we're talking about seeing other people, was that imagining, well, like, what if every single patient that came to see me every day was God? like but we were created in his image and what if it just was mind-blowing and it changed my perspective on how I saw every single person's problem from there on out because it stripped away all judgment because it's like well here what does this person need and how can we help Wow, I love that. What a powerful tool for people who are, you know, giving those types of services to adapt for themselves is really looking at every person as Yeah, yeah. And it especially helps when people are mad at I know, I know. My other trick, my other trick, I don't know how I got down this road, but I do, but this is imagining everybody's a teeny tiny baby. Everybody was born a perfect, innocent little baby. And if you can remember that, it makes it a little harder to be, to be mad at them. Well, if you could leave listeners with one practice that instantly elevates their presence, whether it's on stage, in a meeting, or even at dinner, what Well, okay, I would say be humble and be curious. So that's one thing. Be proud of who you are and really embrace your background, no matter where it is or where you come from, because that gives you a perspective or an angle that no one else can replicate. And maybe set an intention for yourself beforehand if you were to speak or get on stage or anything like that. Like, I'm here to connect, deliver an important message, and inspire elevated conversations. I'm not here to be perfect. That's a big one. I'm not here to be liked by everyone. And I'm not here to be an expert. So I think really shifting our mindset this way will move us out of fear and into service, if we want to talk a little bit about that. And that will instantly elevate our energy and our presence. And I think all of this is connected to Simon Sinek, who I spoke about earlier, and the giver's heart. So going into any meeting or communication taking the attention off of yourself and putting it onto the other person. How can you be of service to that other person? Ask more questions. Genuinely take an interest in people. Oh my God, what a skill that is if you can really perfect that. And I think this often means listening more and talking less. That's right. I like to talk, so it's something I definitely work on. I think graduate school helped me with being the listener is being active because active listening is part of it. Yeah, it's work. Yeah, and really just thinking about how can I elevate others more so than elevating myself? So I do think that that's a little kind of last tidbit, you know, of course, you know, stage meetings at a dinner, these are all very different situations. So, you know, apply it, apply it as you will. I also think using breath work, if that's something that works for people, if you are nervous before you go into something, do some deep breathing, extended exhales that will calm your nervous system and slow your heart rate. or if you really just need to get yourself revved up, do some jumping jacks. Sometimes it's really simple and we just, we're not moving our bodies enough. I think that's huge. But lastly, I just want to say that hopefully we can attach a link here for people that if they do want to work on these skills, if they do want to elevate and really evaluate where their confidence is in that journey, then they can book a discovery call with me and we can really talk more about how to get you and your confidence to a place that feels good and maybe talk through some communication goals together. So I'm available for that for people. So A hundred percent. Girl, you beat me to the punch. You beat me to the punch. I was going there. I was like, where can people find you? Because if you have not worked with Krista, she's amazing. I can attest to that. And Kaylee and Shannon and everybody at KLC. Such an amazing group. I mean, it's in every way. The members, the staff, everybody. I mean, so much love for this group and appreciation. Krista, this conversation was a masterclass in leadership, self-awareness, and communication. Thank you for reminding us that confidence isn't the absence of doubt. It's the decision to show up anyway. And for our listeners, if you're ready to Elevate how you communicate, lead, and connect, whether it's on stage, or in your business, or at your treatment chair. You can find her at the KLC website. We'll attach that link here in the show notes. And, you know, it's not just to be heard, but to create trust, connection, and impact. I hope that's what this episode inspires you to do. Because true confidence isn't loud, it's a line. So thank you for listening to the Curated Confidence podcast. Thanks, English. Wait, wait, before you go, thank you so much for joining me on the Curated Confidence today. If this conversation sparked something within you, please don't keep that transformation to yourself. Share this episode with a friend, subscribe so you never miss a dose of Curated Confidence, and please leave us a quick review wherever you listen. It truly helps us reach more incredible women like you. Until next time, remember to keep showing up fully, stand tall in your truth, and masterfully curating your